A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child. --Forest E. Witcraft

Monday, December 19, 2011

So Sad

Sweets has been calling whenever she can.  She has not been with us for three out of the last four weekends.  This is the first that has happened since early 2008.  At least the one weekend she was with us was the weekend of three concerts for which she has worked all fall.

Saturday I asked to take Sweets out just for dinner by her dad's home on either Saturday or Sunday evening.  Her dad said no and that he would call me Sunday to discuss things further when he had a member of his family who could be an interpreter.  He never called.

His English has never been great, but we have been communicating well enough for years.  Now, all of a sudden, he doesn't understand anything and can't talk to me directly.  I think he just wants an excuse to not talk with me because he knows I'm upset with him.

Tonight he finally talked with me on the phone after Sweets urged him.  I asked if Sweets would be allowed to come to my house for any of Christmas.  He said he would call me tomorrow with an interpreter.  I told him it was an easy question that needs a yes or no and that I knew he understood what I was asking.  He finally said no, which is what he had already told Sweets.  She was unwilling to accept it until he actually told me, because he has changed his mind so much in the past. 

He couldn't answer when she could come again, but it sounds like it could be a long time. 

I told him that tomorrow night I would bring some of Sweets' things that I knew she would want for Christmas and afterwards.  He was okay with that - I'm relieved he didn't object. 

Sweets is devastated, as not only can she not come for Christmas, but she also will miss our planned vacation the week after.  I reassured her that we would see her tomorrow night and I would ask again if we could just stop by and see her on Christmas.  We'll see, but I'm not too hopeful. 

My emotions over the last week have gone from anger, to denial, to fear, to sheer sadness.  Poor Sweets - she turns 9 and her whole life changes: sister moves in, no Thanksgiving, no weekend visits, no Christmas at mom's, no winter vacation.  How I wish I could fix things for her, but my hands are tied. 


  1. I am so very sorry. Breaks my heart for all of you. I hope his heart changes and he is able to see how much he is hurting Sweets. :(

  2. i hope he gets his act together and quits doing this