A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child. --Forest E. Witcraft

Monday, August 6, 2012

Selective Enforcement

May needs a physical for school final registration on Thursday.  Yes, that is in three days and I haven't done anything about it yet.  Even if I could get her an appointment with her pediatrician, then we would be in a bind next year because insurancce will only pay for one physical per year.  Since she has had a couple non-well-check appointments recently, I just haven't worried about the physical.

So, I decided to take her to an advertised walk-in Urgent Care that offers fast, cheap school/sports/camp physicals. We walked in and there was only one other family in the waiting room and one person in line - good start.

We got up to the counter, and the girl there asked who needed to be seen. I pointed to May beside me and said she needs a school physical and showed the form from school.

Girl: Photo ID and Insurance, please.

Me: Do you want my photo ID? She doesn't have one. Insurance won't cover it. You advertised $25.

Girl: I don't need the insurance card. Your ID is fine. Are you Mom?

Me: Yes.

G: Is she adopted?

M: Yes.

G: Do you have the court order?

M: Yes, at home.

G: We need a copy.

M: I didn't bring it.

G: We can't see her without it. It's our policy.

M: Would you ask me that question if she were Caucasian?

G: Don't pull the race card on me. (rather hostile)

M: Would you ask me that question if she looked like me?

G: Don't you have the paperwork?

M: Yes, but I'm not driving 10 miles home to get it.

G: Then we can't see her.

M: I have her immunization record and her insurance card. 

G: We need the court paperwork.  It's our policy.

I was really steaming by this point.  WE LEFT! 

From the car, I called their main phone number, and when the lady asked how she could help me, I said I have only one question: Is it your policy to ask ALL parents if their child is adopted?


I told her I just made a special trip to their Urgent Care for a student physical and was refused service because my daughter is a different race than I am and I didn't bring court paperwork with me.  She apologized and said it was their policy to require court paperwork when a child is adopted.  I pointedly said, that was not my question.  My question is DO YOU ASK ALL PARENTS IF THEIR CHILD IS ADOPTED?

She asked if I wanted to leave a message for the supervisor.  I told her I did and left a pointed voice mail message about their policy requesting a callback tomorrow. Unless you ask ALL parents if their child is adopted, don't ask me to prove she is my child.

I'm tempted to go to another one of their clinics tomorrow with her official birth certificate, although I shouldn't have to have that either.  If she looked like me, I am virtually certain the questioning would have stopped with "Are you mom?"  Next time, I'll be half tempted to answer "No" to "Is she adopted?" to see what they do then! 

I just wish I would have turned to the single race family in the waiting room and asked them loudly, "Did they ask you if your child was adopted?"

We'll see what the supervisor has to say tomorrow.  If he indicates they ask all parents (which I'm sure they don't), I'm tempted to take BB in and see if they ask me if he is adopted!  Probably not worth the effort!


  1. Wow! That is crazy and I am sure they don't ask everyone that

  2. RRRRR! Been there, and experienced that! Good for you for sticking to your guns!