Buddy: How do you become the President?
Mom: You learn a lot, become a leader, and get people to vote for you.
Buddy: I think you should be the President, because you know a lot and people like you.
I love that boy!
Maybe all this law school will be good for something big someday!
I took my final for my summer class today and don't have to think about law school again until mid-August!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Champion!
Today was the second dive meet for Sweets and Buddy.
Sweets competed for the first time on the 3m high board,
And SHE WON 1st PLACE!!!
They both competed in the 1m low board.
Their scores were significantly higher than their first meet a couple of weeks ago.
I'm so proud of them both!
(Let's just hope the temperature doesn't reach 112 degrees on the day of the next meet!)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Foster Friday - This is Why I Do This
Ever wonder why foster parents keep on fostering? Today's Foster Friday panel provides some insight. Go check out my response and others answering THIS is Why I Do This.
You'll find out how crazy and passionate we foster parents are!
You'll find out how crazy and passionate we foster parents are!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Minimally Adequate
I received a phone call today from the CPS Case Manager for Lil Sis. The CM was calling because, after talking with Sweets and her dad, she wanted to find out the real scoop about how much Sweets was with me and whether it was a burden or a choice. Bottom line, was dad really caring for Sweets and can dad take care of two girls?
I explained to the CM that it was my choice to have Sweets at my home as much as she is, that although I totally recognize that dad has legal and physical custody and all decision making power, Sweets is emotionally and psychologically still my daughter. I told her I recognized that I was helping her dad by taking her, but that Sweets had a better life and more opportunities because of her current situation of going back and forth. I did say she would probably be all right at his place (at least for a while), but that some specific things concerned me. The biggest one I mentioned was his dependence on his sister for daycare. I said her house is totally inappropriate, that the older male cousins pick on her continuously, and Sweets hates it there when her dad is not present.
Unfortunately, the CM currently sees "no issues" with dad on his way to getting custody of Lil Sis, who is happily placed in a maternal relative's home right now. She stressed that dad need only be a "mimimally adequate" parent to have Lil Sis placed with him. I simply said I understood that but clearly had a different definition of minimally adequate. I did express that I was very concerned about him parenting two children, and I wanted to make sure that he did not rely on Sweets to parent Lil Sis, because that was clearly the model in play at his sister's house.
I really do recognize a parent's right to raise his own child. But really, how low can you draw the bar and still raise a decent adult? The good news is Sweets is back with me tonight after she went back to her dad's last night to be there for the CM visit this morning.
I explained to the CM that it was my choice to have Sweets at my home as much as she is, that although I totally recognize that dad has legal and physical custody and all decision making power, Sweets is emotionally and psychologically still my daughter. I told her I recognized that I was helping her dad by taking her, but that Sweets had a better life and more opportunities because of her current situation of going back and forth. I did say she would probably be all right at his place (at least for a while), but that some specific things concerned me. The biggest one I mentioned was his dependence on his sister for daycare. I said her house is totally inappropriate, that the older male cousins pick on her continuously, and Sweets hates it there when her dad is not present.
Unfortunately, the CM currently sees "no issues" with dad on his way to getting custody of Lil Sis, who is happily placed in a maternal relative's home right now. She stressed that dad need only be a "mimimally adequate" parent to have Lil Sis placed with him. I simply said I understood that but clearly had a different definition of minimally adequate. I did express that I was very concerned about him parenting two children, and I wanted to make sure that he did not rely on Sweets to parent Lil Sis, because that was clearly the model in play at his sister's house.
I really do recognize a parent's right to raise his own child. But really, how low can you draw the bar and still raise a decent adult? The good news is Sweets is back with me tonight after she went back to her dad's last night to be there for the CM visit this morning.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Fathers
Yesterday the subject of fathers was obviously discussed on Father's Day.
Buddy made the comment that he had two fathers:
His Birth Father
and
His Father in Heaven!
What a smart boy!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Happy Father's Day
Here is the text I received early this morning:
It was from May's birth father. How thoughtful!
May called him after church to wish him a Happy Father's Day!
"u do both jobs. Happy Father's Day"
It was from May's birth father. How thoughtful!
May called him after church to wish him a Happy Father's Day!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Movie, NOT
I took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda 2 this morning. Thought I had timed it so that BB would take his nap right through the movie. No such luck!
Instead, he went through the drinks and snacks I brought during the previews and the first 5 minutes of the movie. He almost nodded off once, and then he caught himself. NO WAY!
BB sat on my lap and was quiet for a couple more minutes, and that was it. We spent the rest of the movie in the hallway outside the theater. I tried going in a few times, but he would not be quiet. So, out we went again. The manager saw us in the hall multiple times as he walked by and asked if I had been in a movie. When I said yes, he told me if I missed most of the movie, I could get a pass from guest services to return another time. It was nice not to lose the cost of admission!
The three older kids liked the movie. I had heard some adopted kids had issues after the movie due to the story line, as Po found out he was adopted. Luckily my kids just enjoyed the movie!
Instead, he went through the drinks and snacks I brought during the previews and the first 5 minutes of the movie. He almost nodded off once, and then he caught himself. NO WAY!
BB sat on my lap and was quiet for a couple more minutes, and that was it. We spent the rest of the movie in the hallway outside the theater. I tried going in a few times, but he would not be quiet. So, out we went again. The manager saw us in the hall multiple times as he walked by and asked if I had been in a movie. When I said yes, he told me if I missed most of the movie, I could get a pass from guest services to return another time. It was nice not to lose the cost of admission!
The three older kids liked the movie. I had heard some adopted kids had issues after the movie due to the story line, as Po found out he was adopted. Luckily my kids just enjoyed the movie!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
VBS
Last week Sweets and Buddy went to VBS in the evenings. At our church, it is free and setup as a community outreach for kids. They had loads of fun, learned lots of songs, heard about Jesus, and really enjoyed it.
On the final night, there were hot dogs, chips, and drinks for the whole family. The kids sang and "shopped" for prizes they earned during the week. They also had water slides and activities for the kids. I met a family who was looking for a church home!
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On the final night, there were hot dogs, chips, and drinks for the whole family. The kids sang and "shopped" for prizes they earned during the week. They also had water slides and activities for the kids. I met a family who was looking for a church home!
Here comes Buddy!
This is the big slide where Sweets and Buddy spent most of their time.
Sweets about to land!
May helped at the smaller slide to make sure
none of the little ones slipped out at the bottom.
VBS was a SUCCESS!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Still Here
I picked up Sweets the afternoon of her last day of school on Wed, June 1st. I told her dad to call me when he wanted her to come home to his house and reminded him that he could call to talk to her anytime.
On Sat, June 4th, I forced Sweets to call him and tell him she is having fun and what she is doing. She reluctantly complied, worried he would tell her to come home. He didn't and I didn't talk to him.
On Tues, June 7th, he called to talk to her. Sweets said he told her to come home the next day. When he talked to me, he said to bring her home on Saturday. I told him Sweets had a dive competition Sat morning and that I would call him when it was over to figure out what time to bring her home. He said about 3pm but agreed that I would call.
On Sat, June 11th, I tried calling him but his phone was not functioning. I tried a couple more times - same result. Finally, he called me from another number about 4:20pm. I asked about his phone; he has to pay for it this week. He suggested Sweets stay until Tuesday, and I said that was totally fine with me. I told him he had to call me Monday night to setup a time since his phone was not working.
He called a little while ago tonight and said maybe Sweets could stay until Friday, June 17th. Again, I said that was fine, but asked if I could bring her home on Saturday instead of Friday since we are already planning to attend a birthday party for one of Sweets' cousins on Saturday evening near his house. I explained I really didn't want to drive all the way over there on Friday and again on Saturday (80 miles RT). I suggested Sweets could stay with him through Sunday since it is Father's Day, and I would pick her up next Monday evening after my law class, since I'll already be halfway there. He said that was fine.
I also asked if she could then stay through the following weekend, because her next dive meet is that Sunday, halfway between our houses. He said yes, and that he would come. Hate to say it, but I will believe it when I see it. It would be very nice for her if he does!
So, Sweets has now been here two weeks and counting. I am thrilled, and she is ecstatic!
On Sat, June 4th, I forced Sweets to call him and tell him she is having fun and what she is doing. She reluctantly complied, worried he would tell her to come home. He didn't and I didn't talk to him.
On Tues, June 7th, he called to talk to her. Sweets said he told her to come home the next day. When he talked to me, he said to bring her home on Saturday. I told him Sweets had a dive competition Sat morning and that I would call him when it was over to figure out what time to bring her home. He said about 3pm but agreed that I would call.
On Sat, June 11th, I tried calling him but his phone was not functioning. I tried a couple more times - same result. Finally, he called me from another number about 4:20pm. I asked about his phone; he has to pay for it this week. He suggested Sweets stay until Tuesday, and I said that was totally fine with me. I told him he had to call me Monday night to setup a time since his phone was not working.
He called a little while ago tonight and said maybe Sweets could stay until Friday, June 17th. Again, I said that was fine, but asked if I could bring her home on Saturday instead of Friday since we are already planning to attend a birthday party for one of Sweets' cousins on Saturday evening near his house. I explained I really didn't want to drive all the way over there on Friday and again on Saturday (80 miles RT). I suggested Sweets could stay with him through Sunday since it is Father's Day, and I would pick her up next Monday evening after my law class, since I'll already be halfway there. He said that was fine.
I also asked if she could then stay through the following weekend, because her next dive meet is that Sunday, halfway between our houses. He said yes, and that he would come. Hate to say it, but I will believe it when I see it. It would be very nice for her if he does!
So, Sweets has now been here two weeks and counting. I am thrilled, and she is ecstatic!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
First Dive Meet
This morning was the first dive meet for Sweets and Buddy. They both did very well.
Buddy's last dive was a front flip. Unfortunately, his coach was on the girls' side and another coach told Buddy to do his approach. So he slowly did Step, Step, Hop and attempted his flip, landing on his back (OUCH!) because he didn't jump high enough. Buddy naturally does the correct approach, but we call it "run and jump". When his coach tells him that, he does fine, but when he thinks about his approach he can't do it quickly. Afterwards, I tried to explain to him that his "run and jump" is HIS approach and he needs to do it.
Both kids did awesome for their first ever competition. They seemed to like it and are willing to do it again. This pool did not have a high board so it will be interesting when we get to a pool that does!
Buddy's very first dive - what confidence!
Unfortunately I missed Sweets' first dive - BAD mom.
Buddy's back jump - nice and straight!
Sweets' back jump - her second dive.
Buddy's front dive - love those toes!
Sweets' front dive - nice legs together!
Both kids did awesome for their first ever competition. They seemed to like it and are willing to do it again. This pool did not have a high board so it will be interesting when we get to a pool that does!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Foster Friday Panelist
I have been invited to be a guest panelist on Tammy's blog I Must Be Trippin' for Foster Friday. Today's topic is What They Didn't Tell Me - What I Wish I'd Known. The first occurrence of Foster Friday was two weeks ago with the Panel Introduction.
The items I wrote about today:
The items I wrote about today:
- Babysitting Feeling
- Attorneys / GALs
- ICWA
- Child Welfare System
Monday, June 6, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Speech Evaluation
BB's speech evaluation was this afternoon. The therapist watched him play in the waiting room while I filled out paperwork. She suggested he also be evaluated for OT based on some of what she saw, especially since we had to drive almost 35 miles to get there.
The evaluation lasted over an hour. Two of them rushed a little, trying to do both evals within a single time slot. They indicated that he comfortably has the capabilitites of a 7-9 month old, with some of the skills of a 9-12 month old - definitely less than where a 14 month old should be. Their recommendation is that he receive both OT and speech twice a week. They are submitting all the paperwork to get therapy approved.
I guess I didn't think BB was that far behind except in speech, but knowing how much OT helped Buddy when he was younger, I'm all for getting therapy early and hopefully completing it sooner rather than later.
The hearing evaluation is next week. Let's hope for no more surprises.
The evaluation lasted over an hour. Two of them rushed a little, trying to do both evals within a single time slot. They indicated that he comfortably has the capabilitites of a 7-9 month old, with some of the skills of a 9-12 month old - definitely less than where a 14 month old should be. Their recommendation is that he receive both OT and speech twice a week. They are submitting all the paperwork to get therapy approved.
I guess I didn't think BB was that far behind except in speech, but knowing how much OT helped Buddy when he was younger, I'm all for getting therapy early and hopefully completing it sooner rather than later.
The hearing evaluation is next week. Let's hope for no more surprises.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
School's Out Again!
Today was the last day of school for Sweets. She had a successful year and is on to fourth grade. Wow!
Sweets called me this afternoon, hoping I would pick her up. I told her she must ask her dad and call me back. Her plan has been to come back to my house tonight since we got home from vacation. I asked her dad about it yesterday, but he said not until Friday (but I'm not sure he totally understood the question - in case I haven't mentioned, English is his second language, barely).
Anyway, Sweets called me back five minutes later and practically yelled, "Guess what he said!" I told her I guessed yes, since she sounded happy. She told me he had said yes that I could pick her up NOW.
So I went and picked her up. Five minutes into the 40 mile drive home, she threw a fit when I asked a multiplication problem she couldn't answer, after getting several correct. All h*** broke loose! She said she wanted to go back to her dad's, she hated me, she never wanted to come to my house again, and plenty more. I simply said it was too late. She was stuck with me and I wasn't turning around. I told her I didn't like the disrespect and to be careful what she wished for, that the wrong person might hear some day and she might get it.
I am so tired of this roller coaster. She is happy and then mad. She is sweet and then belligerent. She is hugging and then hitting.
Finally after getting home, I figured out that she was worried and dwelling on when she had to go back to her dad's again. I told her that I didn't set a day with him this time. As far as I was concerned, she could stay all summer. I had told her dad to call me when he wanted her to come home. We'll see how that goes.
Oh, life would be so much simpler if she could just stay with me!
Sweets called me this afternoon, hoping I would pick her up. I told her she must ask her dad and call me back. Her plan has been to come back to my house tonight since we got home from vacation. I asked her dad about it yesterday, but he said not until Friday (but I'm not sure he totally understood the question - in case I haven't mentioned, English is his second language, barely).
Anyway, Sweets called me back five minutes later and practically yelled, "Guess what he said!" I told her I guessed yes, since she sounded happy. She told me he had said yes that I could pick her up NOW.
So I went and picked her up. Five minutes into the 40 mile drive home, she threw a fit when I asked a multiplication problem she couldn't answer, after getting several correct. All h*** broke loose! She said she wanted to go back to her dad's, she hated me, she never wanted to come to my house again, and plenty more. I simply said it was too late. She was stuck with me and I wasn't turning around. I told her I didn't like the disrespect and to be careful what she wished for, that the wrong person might hear some day and she might get it.
I am so tired of this roller coaster. She is happy and then mad. She is sweet and then belligerent. She is hugging and then hitting.
Finally after getting home, I figured out that she was worried and dwelling on when she had to go back to her dad's again. I told her that I didn't set a day with him this time. As far as I was concerned, she could stay all summer. I had told her dad to call me when he wanted her to come home. We'll see how that goes.
Oh, life would be so much simpler if she could just stay with me!
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